She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
