ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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