wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
