.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
COCAINE IS GR8
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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