Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
