I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
