butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
