I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
