i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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