I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
