Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize