They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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