dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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