so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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