Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
