You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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