They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize