I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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