tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
