well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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