Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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