it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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