Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
