I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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