i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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