He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
