is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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