so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
