I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
