we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
