I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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