what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
