Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This is classic penis vs brain.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Randomize
