So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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