Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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