C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
