I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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