Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
