I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
