I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
