The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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