I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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