Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Randomize
