Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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