I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
