He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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