I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
not ubering you a puppy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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