the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
