yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
