i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
