my sisters under your porch take her home
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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