I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
