Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
