; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
