The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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