is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
