I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize