You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
