It's Friday. Sex?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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