i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
