belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
