Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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