i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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